Sentinel
by Amatista
Summary: Second in the "Severed Saga." Years later, Cassie reflects on a specific interaction with a close friend...


**A/N: I decided to change the format I initially set out with for these stories. Instead of making this a trilogy, it will be a collection of several snippets, and hence, the "Severed Saga." Things will flow smoothly, but I am going to break it up a lot. **

**As with "Severed," any reviews and feedback are much appreciated. Many thanks to icestarlight and MunchkinBayby for your kind reviews. For those of you as immersed in the **_**Secret Circle**_** books as I am, you probably know where I am eventually going with this. Happy reading!**

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Waves frequently crested into puffs of white foam as they neared land, crashing onto the beach with a final, magnificent sound. Cassie could see this from the window of her old bedroom, when she used to live at Number Twelve with her mother. During today's visit, she had just wanted a span of time to herself, to give herself time to think without any distractions. She had had a dream last night, and wanted to take a day to fully understand what she had seen. This room was the perfect place for such an occasion. Initially, the house had been place she hated, but seeing this room for the first time had amazed her. How had she gotten so lucky to have such a beautiful domain to call her own? With the attitude she had had toward living in Cape Cod, how had she deserved it?

Even with the window closed, she could faintly hear the soothing sounds of the water. She sighed, letting her thoughts take over. It never failed; anytime she looked out to the ocean, all she could think of was Adam's eyes. Moments of great emotional feeling had been punctuated by the transition of blue-gray to flashing silver, which took Cassie's breath away every time she saw it.

Four years, she thought. It's been four years since you died...The word still caused her throat to close up, but the threat of tears was no longer powerful. For the rest of her life, there would be moments of reflection and sadness, and usually intense sadness. But it no longer controlled her. Cassie had managed to move on with her life. It had not been easy, but she had done it not only to maintain her sanity, but also because she had others who needed her. Like Sarah. And her mother. Her friends.

One friend in particular entered her mind as she thought back...

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Earth now covered Adam Conant's grave, making him one with the elements at last. The funeral had ended, and the attendants were departing, save for the members of the coven. Diana and a few others had offered to drive Cassie home, but she had declined, knowing she had to force herself to move on. In truth, she also wanted time to be alone. It was reassuring to have the support of everyone, but a little quiet time was definitely in order for herself. Mrs. Blake took time to thank the outsiders who had come, giving Cassie a break from having to do any talking. What a mild relief. Holding her daughter's hand, Cassie sought out her mother, told her she would see her at home, and started across the green cemetery lawn toward her car.

That was when Sarah's attention was diverted, and she broke away from her mother. If Cassie had not felt so numb, it would have registered sooner that she no longer sensed the warmth of her daughter's hand in her own. When it did become apparent, she looked to see where her daughter had quietly fled, and met an incredibly handsome face. Nick had Sarah scooped up in his arms, returning the embrace she had initiated. Her arms were tight around his neck, face resting serenely on his shoulder. One of Nick's hands rubbed her back soothingly.

"Hey, little lady," she heard Nick utter to the child. He spoke gently to her for a bit, Sarah nodding a few times against his thick, dark sweater. It was his way of reassuring the girl, and Cassie felt her heart swell with gratitude. Then, arms still holding Sarah, his eyes focused solely on her. "Stupid question, but how are you holding up?"

It struck her unexpectedly, the concern in his voice, masked by that external toughness she was so used to from him. She shook her head slowly, trying to come up with an intelligible response, but gave up. "There are some things you can't put into words."

Nick nodded, seeming to understand more than she realized. "Considering your history, I don't doubt that." His tone was not harsh. Quite the opposite, actually. Even though his replies were curt every so often (another Nick trait), there was genuine warmth behind his eyes. She recalled the first time she had met Nick, they day Doug and Deborah were playing keep-away with her backpack. He had inadvertently come to her rescue. The first time she looked straight into his face, two words had come to mind: mahogany ice. That was what his eyes were like. Permanent coldness emitting from those perfect orbs. But there was no longer any trace of it when he looked at her. It had been replaced with something Cassie had seen when they had…been together for a stint: affection. Something inside him had let go after they had been involved with one another, caused him to be less caustic with the people around him. At least, less caustic with those in the Circle. With Cassie, he had always had a hint of protection in his features whenever she was troubled. Perhaps he was trying to be a good friend; perhaps he felt he owed her and wanted to find a way to repay her for her kindness…

Cassie knew better. But both she and Nick knew this was not the time to express certain understandings. It had to do with more than the inappropriateness of the timing. Reluctance hindered them both.

"Talked to your mom a few minutes ago," Nick spoke, "I offered to help her at home with anything she needed."

She was touched at his generosity. Help around her mother's, as far as heavy yard work and renovations to the house, had been Adam's department for several years. "That's sweet of you. Thanks, Nick. I know she'll appreciate it."

A pause. "The same goes for you, you know." His eyes locked with hers. "I'm always here for you. Should you ever need me."

It was all he said, mahogany eyes boring into hers. But Cassie detected a word he had emphasized: _Should you ever need _me_…_

Her heart skipped a beat, and she was looking at the way he cradled Sarah against his form. Don't try to act dumb, said a voice inside. You know exactly what's going on. Nick was _offering_ himself to her…in a way she did not want anyone _else_ to. She shook her head to clear it, eyes blurring with tears.

"You look exhausted, Cassie," Nick went on. Cassie could not help but notice her intake of breath when he said her name. "You should take yourselves home and get some rest."

She was nodding stiffly, suddenly thinking about how wonderful it sounded to sleep in her own bed. "Yes, you're right."

Escorting them to her white Rabbit, there seemed to be a protective bubble around the trio emanating from Nick. His eyes darted around him, not threatening, but cautiously examining their surroundings. He even took it upon himself to arrange Sarah into her car seat. Cassie watched him treat her with great care, as he had done ever since she was a baby. It was incredible—and highly unexpected—to see how well he managed a child. Especially one that was not his own. He was calm and patient, almost natural. He was speaking to her softly, and she looked at him with big, blue eyes. With a final kiss on her soft head, Nick came to the other side of the car and stood in front of Cassie. He did not move, and neither did she.

She swallowed, trying to relax her dry throat. "When things settle down," her voice was barely there, "you should come visit, alright?" She looked directly into his eyes as she said, "I know how much Sarah would like to see you."

His jaw seemed to be clenched under his cheeks, but his expression was carefully controlled. "Alright." Perhaps it was not what he hoped for, but it was all Cassie could say at this time. Reaching out, she touched fingertips to his arm, a sign of appreciation. And they saw each other again, time seeming to freeze around them. Strange…she was hesitating, feeling as if she did not want to let go.

Taking advantage of her silence, Nick stepped forward and encased her in his arms. Unable to help it, her arms wrapped around him in response. She remembered how it had felt when he hugged her for the first time, at her initiation: wooden and without any emotion. Non-committal on every level. Any time he embraced her after that, though, had been wholly different. Each time they had touched, something had grown stronger and stronger. A connection of some other sort. This hug now conveyed more feelings than Cassie could interpret at once. It felt…nice. Not the word her brain was seeking, but it was the one she allowed. She had not yearned for his contact since they had dated. That had been years ago. But for some reason now, there was an ache for what was familiar. From him.

It scared her. Was this merely due to her grief over Adam? Was she secretly longing for him simply to fill the void Adam had left behind? I can't do that to him. Disengaging herself from him, she gave a weak, but true, smile. In response, the corners of Nick's mouth upturned faintly. It was the purest look she could ever remember Nick giving her.

"Take care," she whispered, and got into the car. After releasing a breath she had been holding, she started the ignition and headed home to Crowhaven Road. Cassie knew Nick watched them go until they disappeared from sight.

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The memory dissolved, revealing her old bedroom again. In her line of vision was the old bombé chest of drawers, still dark mahogany in color. She smiled faintly; of course that would be the first thing she saw.

Shaking her head momentarily, she noticed how stiff her legs were from sitting for so long. She opted to stretch her legs by taking a quick walk. Alone. She needed more time to think, more time to contemplate the dream and its message. She knew just where she wanted to go. To spend time beside her favorite element: water.


End file.
